Wine Lies 101

Like all good rumor mills, the wine industry is alive and well with misinformation.  In the last few years, I've had the opportunity to host a wine tasting or two.  I am always amazed at some of the crazy things people have been told about wine.  It's like a game of telephone gone horribly wrong.  The "legs" become "arms", anything over $50 is automatically "good" and so on.  Often times I smile and nod when it would be inappropriate to correct someone, but when time allows I do try to offer a different (okay, correct) perspective on the details.  I feel a small responsibility to debunk some common untruths about wine.  In a continued effort to educate the average wine consumer, I give you...    

Private Pour's Wine Lies 101:

1. Nice Legs = Nice Wine

While they are admittedly pleasing to the eye, nice "legs" (or tears) on a wine glass are not an indicator of quality.  The most they can tell you about the wine is the cleanliness of a glass in relation to the evaporation rate of the alcohol in the wine. 

2. Screwcap = Wine Crap

Although many wine purists (myself included), enjoy the tradition and romance of unlocking the life of a bottle sealed with a cork, there is strong evidence showing screwcaps are really the best way to preserve a wine.  In most cases, air is only good for a bottle of wine once it's opened.  Therefore, the stelvin (screwcap) enclosure not only prevents any air from leaking into the wine, but you also forego the chance of getting a corked bottle (for more on that click here).  For this reason, many great wineries are now using screwcaps.

Fun Fact:  Over 75% of Australian wines use screwcaps.

3. Reserve = Superior
It does look fancy on a label, but in the U.S. there are no regulations in terms of quality when it comes to using the term "reserve."  Other misnomers include; "Special Selection", "Proprietor's Reserve", "Private Reserve" and so on.  While some wineries do use the term for, presumably, their best blends or single vineyard productions, if a wine is labeled "reserve" and it's on the bottom shelf, be suspect.

4.  All Sparkling Wine = Champagne
Maybe the worst bastardization of tradition and history in the wine world.  Here's a quick explanation:

• Generally speaking, Old World wines are named by region (i.e. Champagne, Chianti, Rioja, etc.)
• Generally speaking, New World wines are named by grape (Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Merlot)
• Therefore, only a *sparkling* wine from the Champagne region of France is truly Champagne.  Anywhere else in the world, it's sparkling wine.

(For more on the definitions of "Old World" and "New World" wines, check this out.)

5. Wine + Age = GOOD

Would you believe that more than 90 percent of all the wines made in the world are meant to be consumed during the first year of their release?  We are instant gratification consumers - no one goes to the shelf at the local grocery thinking, "I can't wait to throw this pinot noir in my wine cellar for 10 years."  They want to pick up a bottle to celebrate a dinner, a birthday, a Tuesday night.  When a winery waits to release their 2010 vintage until 2014, they have done the bottle aging for the consumer so that the wine is ready to drink when it comes to market.  In addition, less than 1 percent of the world's wine should be aged for more than five years, but don't worry, that 1 percent accounts for more than 350 million bottles of wine each vintage.  

6. White Grapes = White Wine, Red Grapes = Red Wine

These are both true statements, but did you know that white wine can be made from red grapes?  Ever peel a grape?  The flesh of even red grapes, is white.  The contact of the skins with the must (or juice) is what makes red wine, red.  The longer the juice has contact with the skins, the deeper and darker the color.  

7. The more expensive a wine, the better it tastes...the less expensive a wine, the worse it tastes:
Each one of us has our own unique standard for taste.  No one and no wine score can determine for us what is good or bad.  There are many inexpensive wines on the market that drink just as well as some of the most expensive bottles I've enjoyed.  For instance, a wine from a lesser known region than say, Napa Valley, may be of the same or better quality, but they've just got the wrong zip code - and who wants to pay more just for a zip code?

Okay, I feel better now.  You too?  Good.

The more you know...

Common Wine Terms - Desnobberized

Let's talk stereotypes.  It's easy for people in the wine industry and connoisseurs alike to be labeled as "wine snobs."  I have a small issue with this.  The term "snob" infers that we believe we are better than the poor, unfortunate souls not in our inner Wine Snob circle.  While some might relish in their wine prowess, I'd say most share a desire to spread their wealth of knowledge around like a well-oiled socialist economy.  You know who got their name right?  Geek Squad.  They're nothing but a Snob Squad in geek's clothing.  And I know one thing, wine is easier and definitely more fun to learn about than computers.  We're just a bunch of geeks waiting for the next wine fix.  Maybe I'm not proving my point so well.  If it wasn't obvious, I'm a self-proclaimed Wine Geek through and through, and I'm here to end the 'snob' stereotype once and for all!  With the thousands of wineries and wines around the world, it's no wonder people get intimidated.  There's a lot of information to consume, but it can be simplified - sans snobbery.  I'd say some of the label stems from the flowery words us Wine Geeks use when talking about wine.  We don't just throw these words around to sound interesting and intelligent (well, maybe it's a little of that), but the truth is they're important to know.  Through my blog, I hope to educate & possibly humor you.  In an effort for you to better understand wine, I would be remiss if I didn't take the time to decode some common wine terms so that we can all be snobs geeks together.

Here is the Private Pour List of Common Wine Terms - Desnobberized:

Acid, Acidity - ya know that feeling where your mouth waters while eating a Sour Patch Kid?  Same thing with a highly acidic wine.

Astringent - when your mouth gets sucked dry by a wine...that's astringency (see also, Tannins)

Aroma/bouquet - technically two different things, but basically the scent of a wine

Balance - In general, if you drink a wine and you say things like, "this wine is REALLY dry", "this wine is REALLY buttery", the wine is not in balance.  I think people often refer to a wine as "smooth" when they really mean it's in balance.  A well balanced wine is in such harmony that no one component outshines another.

Body - the feel or "weight" of the wine in your mouth.  Fun Fact: Wines from hotter climates tend to have more body than those from cooler climates.

Corked - In short, if your wine smells like wet cardboard, it has a contaminated cork.  It can't hurt you if you drink it, but you wouldn't want to.  On the conservative side, 1 in 30 bottles is infected with TCA (aka - cork taint), but as many as 1 in 7 are believed to be infected but below the human threshold for detection.  *this is why you smell/taste the wine when ordering a bottle at a restaurant.*

Decant - the process of pouring a bottle of wine into a carafe to separate the sediment from the wine.  (see also, sediment)

Fermentation - turning grape juice into wine.  More specifically, the process of converting sugar into alcohol in the presence of yeast.

Finish - some wines disappear immediately after being swallowed while others linger a while.  A pleasant, lengthy finish is a sign of a great wine.

New World - wines from North America, South America, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and Asia.  Most new world wines are labeled by grape variety (i.e. chardonnay, cabernet) rather than geographic region (i.e. Bordeaux, Champagne).

Nose - the term used to describe the aroma/bouquet of a wine.

Old World - wines from France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Greece.  Most old world wines are named by their growing region (i.e. Bordeaux, Champagne), rather than their grape variety (chardonnay, cabernet).

Tannin - that dry mouth feeling you get when drinking a big bad cab(ernet), that's tannin.  It's a natural compound that comes from the skins, stems and pits of the grapes, and also from the wood barrels in which wine is aged.  (see also, astringent)

Terroir - a fancy french word for all the distinct elements that contribute to the characteristics of a particular region/vineyard.

Sediment - the coffee ground looking particles that form in wine as it ages.  Like actual coffee grounds, they are very bitter in taste and should be decanted off before drinking.  (see also, decant)

Varietal - a specific type of grape (i.e. chardonnay, malbec, cabernet sauvignon)

Vintage - the year the grapes are harvested.

See, that wasn't so bad.  Now get out there and use at least three of these terms in conversation today and let your geek flag fly!

A Wine-changing Experience...

Photo by: Sharon Hester

Since I began my career in the wine industry, the number one question I get asked is, “How did you learn so much about wine?”  It seems like such an easy question to answer, but the journey has been complex and life changing, to say the least.  Usually, I reply with, “lots and lots of drinking.”  Which is true, in part.  However, that offers little more than the assumption that I must be a huge lush (give me a little credit, I’m not in my twenties anymore).  My path into the wondrous, esoteric world of wine began as another chapter in my life closed.

Thanks to the economic downturn that left myself and millions of Americans jobless, I found myself questioning why I had stayed in an unfulfilling career for as long as I had.  Two months into unemployment, I remembered why – it paid the bills!  After unsuccessfully applying for hundreds of jobs I never thought I’d consider, I was left with nothing but time to think about my next move.  During one of our many ‘world-saving’ conversations, my husband asked me, “If you could create your own career, what would it look like?  What would you do?”  I started thinking about all my favorite things; food, wine, interior design.  How would I make a legitimate career out of any of these with little more than a passion for them all?  But my husband offered me a challenge and with my competitive spirit the journey was born.

I spent the entire next day thinking about the vivid memory of pouring wine with a dear friend as we cooked all afternoon in my apartment, and while perusing the literature at a doctor’s office, I chose the wine magazine that I just couldn’t put down or give back (c’mon, I paid the copay).  All of these intense memories flooded my thoughts and like asking the Magic 8 Ball, it was decidedly so, I was meant to be immersed in the world of wine.  Wow, that was easier than I thought.

Next step: Google “Wine Jobs in Phoenix”.  I was lost…Off-premise Sales Rep, Merchandising Associate, Wine Steward, Brand Manager.  I realized that it was going to take more than passion to get my foot in the door.  During my 100th hour of research, I came across a woman’s blog that revolved around wine jobs.  And there it was, the post I had been looking for, “How to break into the wine industry”.  I learned a lot that day, but mostly that I had no business sending my resume out into the prestigious wine industry without having anything more than “Wine Enthusiast” on my list of prior experience.  They take their shit seriously.  Her blog left me discouraged and pissed off.  That was my first lesson in the “I’m going to give my blog a sardonic title aimed to get you to read it just so I can crush your dreams” blog post.  But, I ain’t goin’ out like that.

Once I realized that I needed genuine wine experience and also a general knowledge of what types of jobs were available in the desert (without a vineyard or winery within a 100 mile radius), I was off to Austin, Texas and the International Wine Guild.  After some serious inundation of fermented grape knowledge, I was granted my Level I Cellar Manager Certification.  Now I could add, “Glorified Wine Enthusiast” to my resume.  It was a start.

With my background in sales, I determined working for a distributor was the path I was headed toward.  I researched all the local distributors and had a serious affinity for one in particular.  Aside from their stellar portfolio of wines, they touted things like, “We have no 'human resources department', dress-code, 'write-ups', peer review, or unnecessary meetings!”  It wasn’t because they were completely nuts, but because they created a culture where each individual would thrive.  Before I could even finish reading their “about us” page, I pictured myself among them, drinking the juice.  This is where I belonged.  Without another thought, my resume was sent.

“Hi Michelle,

Thank you for your interest, unfortunately we do not currently have any positions available. 

All the best,

Dream Crusher”

Not so fast my friends.  Up until this point, I must have submitted my resume to 150+ places of employment without a single reply.  THIS was an opportunity.  I know what you’re thinking, “what part of ‘we do not currently have any positions available’ do you not understand?”  I guess the part where they said “we”.  My husband asked me what position I would create for myself.  And this was my chance to answer that question.

Hi Dream Crusher,

 Thanks so much for getting back to me. There's no doubt we're all doing more with less these days, so I appreciate the time you're taking to correspond with me.  As I mentioned in my previous email, I am new to the industry and I still have much to learn.  In that spirit, I wanted to find out if you have, or would, offer any type of internship.  I am extremely motivated to learn all that I can, and I would be grateful to gain a better understanding of your side of the business. 

 Again, thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you at your convenience.

Have a wonderful week!

 Best,

Dream Crushee

Tick tock, tick tock.

Hi Michelle,

When you say internship, are you saying that you would work for free in return for exposure to the industry?  If that is the case, I would be open to sitting down to see if we could make something work.

And with that, my dream turned into a reality.  I know, I know, I wasn’t even getting paid.  Well, from what I could tell no one was willing to pay me anyway as long as my job title remained “Glorified Wine Enthusiast”.  So, did they live up to the hype of being the cool kids on the block that I envisioned while reading their website?  That and so much more.  The knowledge I gained from my friends at Quench Fine Wines and the numerous winemakers and suppliers I had the privilege to meet is irreplaceable and, no doubt, impossible to obtain anywhere else in this state and, I’d bet, the country.

After my three month internship came to a close, they took another chance on me and offered me a coveted Quench Sales Route.  A legitimate career in wine.  So, to those that ask how I learned so much about wine, and to that woman with her sarcastic blog post: THAT’S how you break into the wine industry.